No. 1 of 305
Murphy's Laws
and othersReturn to
ACTWON
Murphy's law:
If anything can go wrong, it will.
No. 2
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone he can blame it on.
No. 3
Crane's law:
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
No. 4
Matsch's Law:
It's better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end
No. 5
The Golden Rule:
Whoever has the most makes the rules.
No. 6
Boobs Law:
You always find something the last place you look.
No. 7
Meyer's law:
It is a simple task to make things complex,
but a complex task to make them simple.
No. 8
Shirley's law:
Most people deserve each other.
No. 9
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue.
No. 10
Cheops' Law:
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
No. 11
The telephone will ring when you are outside
the door fumbling for your keys.
No. 12
Ferguson's Law:
A crisis is when you can't say "Let's forget the whole thing."
No. 13
Steele's Philosophy:
Everybody should believe in something...I believe I'll have another drink.
No. 14
Imbesi's Law:
In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty.
No. 15
Malek's Law:
Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
No. 16
Cole's Law:
Thinly sliced cabbage.
No. 17
Brenda's Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.
No. 18
Levy's Ninth Law:
Only God can make a random selection.
No. 19
Jensen's Law:
Win or lose, you lose.
No. 20
Allan's Law:
All things being equal, you lose.
No. 21
Marks' Law:
A fool and your money are soon partners.
No. 22
Law of the Office:
Important letters which contain no errors will develope errors in the mail.
No. 23
Weber's Definition:
An expert is one who knows nore and more
about less and less until he knows nothing at all.
No. 24
Penny's Law:
You can fool all of the people some of the time
and some the people all of the time
but you can't fool Mom.
No. 25
Telesco's Nursing Law:
All the IV's are at the other end of the Hall.
No. 26
Chisholm's Corollary:
If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.
No. 27
Doyle's Law:
No matter how many share a cab,
each puts the full fare on their expense account.
No. 28
Law of Life's Highway:
If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
No. 29
Thom's Law of Marital Bliss:
The length of marriage is inversly proportional to the cost of the wedding.
No. 30
Barach's Rule:
An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.
No. 31
Hawkins' Theory:
Progress consists in replacing a theory
that is wrong with one more subtly wrong.
No. 32
Anthony's Shop Law:
Any tool dropped will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
No. 33
Law of Reruns:
If you have watched a TV series once and watch it again, it will be a rerun.
No. 34
Roger's Law:
As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee,
the airliner encounters turbulence.
No. 35
Parkinson's Second Law:
Expenditures rise to meet income.
No. 36
Matilda's Sub-Committee Law:
If you leave the room, you're elected.
No. 37
The Pace of Progress:
Society is a mule, not a car...
...if pressed too hard, it will throw off its rider.
No. 38
Clark's Law:
The only way to discover the limits of the
possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.
No. 39
Murray's Rule of Baseball:
Whatever can go to New York, will.
No. 40
Lavia's Law of Tennis:
A mediocre player will sink to the level of his or her opposition.
No. 41
The Green Thumb Law:
The life of a house plant varies inversely
with its price and directly with its ugliness.
No. 42
Grossman's Lemma:
Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday.
No. 43
O'Brien's Law:
Nothing is ever done for the right reasons.
No. 44
Farmer's Credo:
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night, then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
No. 45
Jones' Law of TV:
The only new show worth watching will be cancelled.
No. 46
Worker's Law:
No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
No. 47
Worker's Corollary:
What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.
No. 48
Rominger's Rule for Students:
The more general the title of a course, the less you learn from it.
No. 49
Cheit's Lament:
If you help a friend in need he's sure to
remember you - the next time he's in need.
No. 50
Murray's Rule of Football:
Nothing is ever so bad it can't be made worse by firing the coach.
No. 51
Atwood's Fourteenth Corollary:
No books are lost by lending except those you particularly wanted to keep.
No. 52
Young's Law:
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
No. 53
Ron's Observation for Teens:
The pimples don't appear until the hour before the date.
No. 54
Parker's Observation:
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone.
No. 55
Evan's Law:
If you can keep your head when all about you
are losing theirs, you don't understand the problem.
No. 56
Rune's Rule:
If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.
No. 57
The Army Axiom:
Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.
No. 58
Frothingham's Corollary:
The mountain looks closer than it is.
No. 59
Professors Block's Motto:
Forgive and Remember.
No. 60
Murphy's Flu Philosophy:
Just because your doctor has a name for it doesn't mean he knows what it is.
No. 61
McGowan's Axiom:
If a Christmas gift is advertised as "under $50", you can bet it's not $19.95.
No. 62
Miles' Rule:
Where you stand depends on where you sit.
No. 63
Finman's Principle:
The one you want is never the one on sale.
No. 64
Murphy's Tenth Corollary:
Mother Nature is a bitch.
No. 65
Law of Gifts:
You get the most of what you need the least.
No. 66
Farnsdick's Corollary:
After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
No. 67
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
No. 68
If it looks easy, it's tough...
If it looks tough, it's impossible.
No. 69
The one time of the day you lean back and relax is
the one time of the day the boss walks throught the office.
No. 70
If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
No. 71
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game.
No. 72
If you do something which you are sure will meet with
everybody's approval, somebody won't like it.
No. 73
If it jams, force it....
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
No. 74
A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.
No. 75
Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
No. 76
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong,
the one that will cause the most damage will.
No. 77
No matter what goes wrong,
there is always somebody who knew it would.
No. 78
An unbreakable toy can be used to break other toys.
No. 79
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
No. 80
Kohn's Corollary:
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
No. 81
Allan's Corollary:
Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane.
No. 82
The Watergate Principle:
Government corruption will always be reported in the past tense.
No. 83
Todd's Political Principle:
No matter what they're talking about, they're talking about money.
No. 84
Murray's rule of Basketball:
A free agent is anything but.
No. 85
Knox's Principle:
An acquired player fades, a traded player rises to stardom.
No. 86
Jones' Law of TV:
The show you've been looking forward to all week will be preempted.
No. 87
No matter what goes wrong,
it will probably look right.
No. 88
Law of the Search:
The first place to look for
something is the last place you'd expect to find it.
No. 89
Arthur's Law of Love:
People to whom you are attracted think you remind them of someone else.
No. 90
Ehrman's Law:
Things will get worse before they get better. Who said they'll get better?
No. 91
Spark's First Rule:
Strive to look tremendously important.
No. 92
Cooper's Metalaw:
A proliferation of new laws creates a proliferation of new loopholes.
No. 93
Keep anything long enough and you can throw it away.
Throw it away and you will need it next day.
No. 94
O'Reilly's Spring Cleaning Law:
Cleanliness is next to impossible.
No. 95
Diner's Dilemma:
A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
No. 96
Gumperson's Law:
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.
No. 97
O'Toole's commentary:
Murphy was an optimist.
No. 98
Porkingham's Law:
The time available to go fishing shrinks as fishing season draws near.
No. 99
The slowest checker is always at the quick check-out lane.
No. 100
The client who pays the least complains the most.
No. 101
Bocklage's Law:
He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.
No. 102
Rev. Chichester's Law:
If the weather is extremely bad or extremely good, attendance will be down.
No. 103
Jacquin's Postulate:
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe when legislature is in session.
No. 104
Murphy's Observation:
When it rains, it pours.
No. 105
Todd's First Law:
All things being equal, you lose.
No. 106
5th Law of the Office:
Vital papers will move from where you left them to where you can't find them.
No. 107
Only adults have difficulty with child-proof bottles.
No. 108
Truman's Law:
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
No. 109
Hartley's Law:
You can lead a horse to water,
but if you get him to float on his back, you've got something.
No. 110
First Rule of Superior Inferiority:
Don't let your superiors know you're superior to them.
No. 111
First Law of Travel:
It always takes longer to get there than to get back.
No. 112
Lee's Law:
In dealing with a body of people, the people will be more tacky than expected.
No. 113
Bedfellows Rule:
The one who snores will fall asleep first.
No. 114
Newton's Law:
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
No. 115
If it's good, they discontinued it.
No. 116
Price's Law:
If everybody doesn't want it, nobody gets it.
No. 117
Iron Law of Distribution:
Them that has, gets.
No. 118
Finagle's First Law:
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
No. 119
Muir's Law:
When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to the universe.
No. 120
Deal's Sailing Law:
The amount of wind varies inversely with the number and experience of the crew.
No. 121
When the plane you're on is late,
your connecting flight is on time.
No. 122
When the plane you're on is on time,
your connecting flight is late.
No. 123
Fiske's Teenage Corollary:
The stomach expands to accomodate the amount of junk food available.
No. 124
Patry's Law:
If you know something can go wrong and prepare, something else will go wrong.
No. 125
Murphy's Seventh Corollary:
Every solution breeds new problems.
No. 126
Perkins' Postulate:
The bigger they are...the harder they hit.
No. 127
The Fifth Rule:
You have taken yourself too seriously.
No. 128
If there are only two shows on TV worth watching this week,
they will be on at the same time.
No. 129
Kitman's Law:
Pure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off the TV screen.
No. 130
Zymurgy's Labor Law:
People are always available for work in the past tense.
No. 131
Seit's Law of Higher Education:
The one course you need for graduation is not offered your last semester.
No. 132
Lynch's Law:
When the going gets tough...everyone leaves.
No. 133
No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
No. 134
No matter how much you know, you'll never know enough.
No. 135
What you don't do is always more important than what you do.
No. 136
Murray's Hockey Rule:
Hockey is a game played by six good players and the home team.
No. 137
Olivers's Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
No. 138
Gillenson's Law of Expectation:
Never get excited over how people look from behind.
No. 139
Heisenberg's Principle:
You may know where the Stock Market is going, but not after that.
No. 140
If you're early, it's cancelled, if you're on time,
it's late, if you're late, you're late.
No. 141
Tood's First Law:
No matter what they're telling you, it's not the whole truth.
No. 142
Whistler's Law:
You never know who's right, but you always know who's in charge.
No. 143
Murphy's Flu Law:
If you seem to be getting better, it's your doctor getting worse.
No. 144
Law of the Kitchen:
You're always complimented on the item that took the least effort to prepare.
No. 145
No matter how hard you shop for an item,
after you bought it, you will find it on sale.
No. 146
Hadley's Law of Clothing:
If you like it, they don't have it in your size.
No. 147
Wallace's Observation:
Everything is in a state of utter dishevelment.
No. 148
Allan's View on Life:
Life's a bitch, time's a bastard, then you die and get over it.
No. 149
Gattuso's Extension:
Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
No. 150
Fahnestock's Rule:
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
No. 151
Sodd's Second Law:
Sooner or later the worst is bound to occur.
No. 152
When you finally see light at the end of the tunnel,
it will probably be a train coming toward you.
No. 153
Nothing is as temporary as that which is called permanent.
No. 154
Merkin's Maxim:
When in doubt, predict that the trend will continue.
No. 155
Glyme's Formula:
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.
No. 156
Dykstra's Law:
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
No. 157
Stenderup's Law:
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
No. 158
Lieberman's Law:
Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
No. 159
Leo Rogers' Commentary:
If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing.
No. 160
No matter how well you do your job,
a superior will seek to modify the results.
No. 161
Alexander Bell's Theorem:
When a body is immersed in water, the phone rings.
No. 162
Hane's Law:
There is no limit to how bad things can get.
No. 163
Rockefeller's Principle:
Never do anything you wouldn't be caught dead doing.
No. 164
Newton's Seventh Law:
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
No. 165
Byrne's Law of Concreting:
When you pour, it rains.
No. 166
Evans' and Bjorn's Law:
No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.
No. 167
1. Never be first.
2. Never be last.
3. Never volunteer for anything.
No. 168
The General Law:
The chaos in the universe always increases.
No. 169
Murphy's Philosophy:
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
No. 170
Connor's Second Law:
If something is confidential it will be left in the copier machine.
No. 171
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
No. 172
Law of Construction:
Cut it large and kick it into place.
No. 173
O'Toole's Axiom:
One child is not enough, but two are far too many.
No. 174
Las Vegas Law:
Never bet on a loser because his luck is bound to change.
No. 175
Charnock's Law:
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
No. 176
There is nothing so small that it can't be blown out of proportion.
No. 177
Thom's Law of Marital Bliss:
The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the cost of the wedding.
No. 178
Patton's Law:
A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.
No. 179
Miller's Law:
Exceptions prove the rule - and wreck the budget.
No. 180
Murphy's Government Law:
If anything can go wrong, it will do so in triplicate.
No. 181
Porkingham's Fishing Philosophy:
The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
No. 182
Stitzer's Vacation Principle:
Take half as much clothing and twice as much money.
No. 183
If it wern't for the last minute,
nothing would ever get done.
No. 184
Hoffer's Law:
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
No. 185
Moser's Law of Sports:
Exciting plays only occur
when you're watching the scoreboard or buying a hot dog.
No. 186
Glory may be fleeting,
but obscurity is forever.
No. 187
Wagner's Law of Sports TV:
When the camera isolates on a male
athlete, he will either spit, pick or scratch.
No. 188
Ferguson's Precept:
A crisis is when you can't say "let's forget the whole thing."
No. 189
Katz's Law:
Men and nations will act rationally
when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
No. 190
The pet principle:
No matter which side of the door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side.
No. 191
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
No. 192
Hoffstedt's Employment Principle:
Confusion creates jobs.
No. 193
Student's Law:
Every instructor assumes you have nothing to do but study for his course.
No. 194
Reynold's Law of Climatology:
Wind velocity increases directly with the cost of the hairdo.
No. 195
There is nothing so simple that it can't be done wrong.
No. 196
Lefty Gomez's Law:
If you don't throw it, they can't hit it.
No. 197
Seay's Law:
Nothing ever comes out as planned.
No. 198
Weiner's Law of Libraries:
There are no answers, only cross-references.
No. 199
Seymour's Investment Principle:
Never invest in anything that eats.
No. 200
Allan's Second Law:
Never eat anything bigger than your head.
No. 201
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
No. 202
Walter's Law of Politics:
A fool and his money are soon elected.
No. 203
Brintnall's Law:
If you are given two contradictory orders, obey them both.
No. 204
Thiessen's Law of Gastronomy:
The hardness of the butter
is in direct proportion to the softness of the roll.
No. 205
Murphy's Flu Philosophy:
Even water tastes bad when taken on doctor's orders.
No. 206
If it says "one size fits all," it doesn't fit anyone.
No. 207
Baker's Law:
You never want the one you can afford.
No. 208
Young's Principle of Individuality:
Everybody wants to peel their own banana.
No. 209
Thine's Law:
Nature abhors people.
No. 210
Lord balfour's Contention:
Nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all.
No. 211
Goebel's Law of Rush Hour Traffic:
What speeds up, must slow down. But who says it's ever gonna speed up?
No. 212
Scott's First Law:
No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right.
No. 213
Scott's Second Law:
When an error has been detected and
corrected, it will be found to be correct originally.
No. 214
Finagle's First Rule:
To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
No. 215
Finagle's Second Rule:
Always keep a record of data - it indicates you've been working.
No. 216
Finagle's Third Rule:
Always draw your curves first, then plot your data.
No. 217
Finagle's Fourth Rule:
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
No. 218
Finagle's Fifth Rule:
Experiments should be reproducible - they should all fail in the same way.
No. 219
Finagle's Sixth Rule:
Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
No. 220
Simon's Law:
Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
No. 221
Howe's Law:
Everyone has a scheme that will not work.
No. 222
Klipstein's Engineering Law:
Dimensions will always be in the wrong units, such as furlongs per fortnight.
No. 223
Johnson and Laird's Law:
A toothache tends to start on Saturday night.
No. 224
Etorre's observation:
The other line always moves faster.
No. 225
Osborn's Law:
Variables won't, constants aren't.
No. 226
Law of Computer programming:
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
No. 227
Law of Computer programming:
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
No. 228
Law of Computer programming:
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
No. 229
Law of Computer programming:
The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
No. 230
Law of Computer programming:
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the maintainer.
No. 231
Law of Computer programming:
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
No. 232
Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology:
There's always one more bug.
No. 233
Shaw's Principle:
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
No. 234
Wyszkowski's Second Law:
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
No. 235
Sattinger's Law:
It works better if you plug it in.
No. 236
Anthony's Law of Force:
Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
No. 237
Allan's Law of Force:
If it doesn't fit, you're not hitting it hard enough.
No. 238
Murphy's Law of Research:
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
No. 239
Allan's Law of Research:
The theory is supported as long as the funds are.
No. 240
Maier's Law:
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
No. 241
Allan's Law of Success:
If at first you succeed, you have no idea what you're doing.
No. 242
Williams and Holland's Law:
If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistics.
No. 243
Peer's Law:
The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
No. 244
Young's law:
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
No. 245
Young's Corollary:
The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.
No. 246
Hoare's Law:
Inside every large problem is a small problem trying to get out.
No. 247
Fett's Law of the Lab:
Never replicate a successful experiment.
No. 248
Futility Law:
No experiment is a complete failure -
it can always serve as a negative example.
No. 249
Campbell's Law:
Nature abhors a vacuous experimenter.
No. 250
Vail's Axiom:
In any human enterprise, work seeks the lowest hierarchial level.
No. 251
Allan's Corollary on Time:
Time sucks!
No. 252
Cornuelle's Law:
Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.
No. 253
Truman's Law:
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
No. 254
First Law of Debate:
Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference.
No. 255
TANSTAAFL:
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
No. 256
Wiler's Law:
Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
No. 257
Weinberg's First Law:
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
No. 258
John's Collateral Corollary:
In order to get a loan you must first prove that you don't need it.
No. 259
Miller's Law:
You can't tell how deep a puddle is until you step in it.
No. 260
Hartley's Second Law:
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
No. 261
Katz's Law:
Men and nations will act rationally
when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
No. 262
Jones's Motto:
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
No. 263
Allan's Motto:
It's easier to make true enemies than true friends.
No. 264
Davis' Answer to Roger's Law:
Serving coffee on an aircraft causes turbulence.
No. 265
Drew's Law:
The client who pays the least complains the most.
No. 266
Wethern's Law:
Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
No. 267
Ray's precision Rule:
Measure with a micrometer - Mark with chalk - Cut with an axe.
No. 268
Devries' Dilemma:
If you hit two keys on the typewriter,
the one you don't want will hit the paper.
No. 269
Finagle's Eighth Rule:
Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.
No. 270
Greer's Third Law:
A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.
No. 271
Steinbach's Guidline:
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
No. 272
Rule of Defactualization:
Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
No. 273
Winger's Rule:
If it sits on your desk for 15 minutes, you've just become the expert.
No. 274
Matz's Maxim:
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
No. 275
Fagin's Rule:
Hindsight is an exact science.
No. 276
Hanlon's Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
No. 277
Law of Tests:
When reviewing your notes before an
exam, the most important ones will be illegible.
No. 278
Law of Tests:
80% of the final will be on the one
lecture you missed about the one book you didn't read.
No. 279
Law of Tests:
If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
No. 280
Moser's Law of Sports:
Exciting plays only occur when
you're are watching the scoreboard or buying food.
No. 281
Gold's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
No. 282
Hershiser's First Rule:
Anything NEW and/or IMPROVED, isnt.
No. 283
Hershiser's Second Rule:
The Lable NEW and/or IMPROVED means the price went up.
No. 284
Beryl's Law:
The "CONSUMER REPORT" on the item will come out a week after you buy the item.
No. 285
Hamilton's glass cleaning law:
The spot you are scrubbing is always on the other side.
No. 286
Skoff's Law:
A child will not spill on a dirty floor.
No. 287
Ballance's Law of Relativity:
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
No. 288
Kovac's conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
No. 289
Jacob's Law:
To err is human - to blame it on someone else is even more human.
Added June 2000
No. 290
Lerman's Law of Technology:
Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.
Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.
No. 291
Murphy's First Law for Wives:
If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought,
he will forget two of the first five.
No 292
Law of the Search:
The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.
Corollary:
It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.
No. 293
Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation:
The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
No. 294
The Salary Axiom:
The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and
just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
No. 295
Miller's Law of Insurance:
Insurance covers everything except what happens.
No. 296
First Law of Living:
As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing,
you want to be doing something else.
No 297
Weiner's Law of Libraries:
There are no answers, only cross-references.
No 298
Isaac's Strange Rule of Food:
Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale.
Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.
Any food that starts out warm, will get cold.
Any food that starts out cold, will get warm.
No. 299
Kenny's Law of Auto Repair:
The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.
No. 300
Second Law of Business Meetings:
If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary:
If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.
No. 301
The Grocery Bag Law:
The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market
is hidden at the bottom of the last grocery bag.
No 302
Yeager's Law:
Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary:
All break-downs occur on the plumber's day off.
No 303
Lampner's Law of Employment:
When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed.
When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.
No. 304
Loftus' Law:
Some people manage by the book,
even though they don't know who wrote the book or even which book it is.
No. 305
Lovka's Dilemma:
You never get away, you only get someplace else.
THE END